Divinely, my husband and I got to grieve the loss of our
first foster placement in Maine (this vacation had been planned almost a year
out.) Lobster, kayaking, sleep and the view of mountains and water helped sooth
our souls. I decided next time we received a foster placement I would do things
different. One major difference/change was I would utilize daycare and continue
to tutor math in the mornings. I thought keeping a regular routine might help
me adjust better when a child left.
Shortly after returning home, we accepted a new placement,
another baby girl who was a peanut in comparison to our first placement and a
great sleeper. Shortly after her placement, we were informed that she too would
be placed with a family member. Knowing she was leaving soon, we accepted a
newborn baby boy. Plans changed, however, and we ended up with both babies for
a month. It felt like having twins! September was a blur, and I was thankful
for the love and support of many friends. Both babies left our home the same
week and honestly, I did not think my heart could handle any more foster
children leaving our home. Not only did
my heart ache, I lost weight from not eating properly and getting enough sleep.
My husband worried about the additional stress on my transplanted islet cells. We
decided to pack up, give away, and sell all of our baby items. I closed the
door to the bedroom where we had cribs. It seemed clear to me that I was not
going to a mother.
Four days later, we unexpectedly loaded our car and evacuated
to Greenville, SC to weather Hurricane Matthew at my aunt and uncle’s home.
Once again, God provided a respite for us to heal and contemplate.
Prayer requests: Healing and help for all of those affected
by natural disasters.
Gratitude for all of the first responders who
worked countless hours to restore power and clear roads.
