HESITANTLY HAPPY

My dear and faithful cheerleaders,

The outpouring of love never ceases to amaze me.  The last time I sent out an update I was at my lowest point.  I knew we needed extra prayers to get us to Johns Hopkins, because I was unraveling fast.

Miracle alert: I was able to fall asleep after I sent out the email and slept in the car on the ride down to Hopkins.  Fortunately, Jack did not snooze on the drive down :0)

 Little did I know I was going to need your encouragement and prayers after the appointment….I was convinced that because I had been in so much pain during the last round of tests that for sure answers and solutions would be found.  Unfortunately, the tests did not show anything.  However, the fact that the one injection prior to the HIDA scan caused tremendous pain and was identical to other attacks, Dr. Singh is now going to do an ERCP.  During the procedure he will put a stent in my pancreas, if he is able, and make an incision in my sphincter of Oddi duct (the duct my former gallbladder and pancreases share).  Dr. Singh said all of this at 3:15 PM (after 1.5 hour wait) in a monotone voice with no expression in his face.  He flatly informed me that if this doesn’t work, then he is out of ideas and will have to call in other specialists. It felt like another jab to the gut.  Poor Jack got the flood of tears.  My hope balloon was deflated.

I went to my family doctor today, Dr. Granger, feeling pretty depressed.  I left his office hesitantly happy.  How you ask?  He is confident that the ERCP is going to solve everything.  The replica of the pain from the HIDA injection makes him very optimistic.  He thinks after this procedure I may be pain free.  One little incision that my husband and I have been asking for since the end of September is going to finally happen.  I am hesitantly happy, because my hopes have been on a bit of a rollercoaster and now I feel more guarded.  Nevertheless, this is good news!

I left a message with scheduling, so once I know the date and time for the ERCP I will let all of you know.  It does require overnight stay in the hospital and there are some risks, so lots of prayer would be appreciated.

I just have to end by saying each of you are miracles.  You all have different gifts and have showered me with love in your unique ways and so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being you.

Love and deep, deep gratitude,

Becky

PLEASE PRAY - WORST PAIN ATTACK SO FAR

Hi dearest friends and family,

I know many of you are remembering me in prayer today with my appointment with Dr. Singh at Johns Hopkins this afternoon.  However, Jack and I need extra prayer today.

The past few days have been pretty lovely.  Friday night we had a date night and went out for dinner utilizing a gift card that a friend had sent us.  Saturday we awoke to 4"s of snow and we came downstairs to discover someone had already shoveled our sidewalk.  I was able to be at church this past Sunday for the healing service which was extremely powerful.  I got caught up with some sweet girl friends in 3-D for a little over an hour last evening.  I received in the mail yesterday, a CD entitled "Hidden In My Heart, a lullaby journey through scripture."  It will be serenading us to Hopkins today.  These are just a few of the blessings.

At 1:00 AM today I awoke to horrific pain.  In stead of feeling like a mac truck hit me, it felt like a fleet of 18-wheelers ran me over.  In stead of a few knives stabbing my abdomen, it felt like a good 2 dozen were stabbing and twisting all over my stomach and back.  I took my strongest pain pill (equivalent to 2 IV injections in the hospital).  Typically, this knocks me and the pain out in under 10 minutes.  By 2:40 AM the pain was not only still present, but getting worse.  On a scale of 1 to 10, it was a 15!  I took another strong pain pill.  I have NEVER taken this much pain medicine at a time.  After about another 30 minutes it started to kick in.  I must confess that when the pain gets so intense, I ask Jack to pray and ask for forgiveness.  Jack, has to remind me that this is not my fault and it is not punishment.  It just feels like torture.  I practiced my mom's prayer mantra: "I love you, I trust you, I don't understand."  I still have pain, but it is manageable right now.  I wasn't able to go back to sleep, so I am feeling extra weak. 

Please pray for strength for both Jack and I, as Jack's night was also disturbed.  Again, I ask that you join me in requesting that God would provide Dr. Singh with insight and wisdom with regards to the cause and solution.

Lastly, but certainly not least, please pray for Cherie & Randy Riggs.  Randy is the head pastor at my church (First Pres. on Orange Street).  Cherie has battled cancer for a looooooooooooong time and now there are no more medical treatments to aid her health. Pray for comfort and peace to surround them and God's wholeness to fill Cherie.

As always, I am honored to join each of you in prayer and grateful for your love and support.

Blessings and deep gratitude,
Becky

1/18/12 PAIN EXPERT

Hi dearest friends and family,

This is another hard email, but has some really sweet blessings.  Get a cup of tea and sit in a comfy chair, because it is a looooong one.

Two hours after I sent my last mass email on Jan. 10th, I was jolted with extreme pain.  I took my strong pain medicine and waited and waited and waited.  The tears started to flow, so I picked up the phone and called Jack at work thinking if I can just hear his voice I will be okay.  30 minutes later he had me checked in at the ER.  I spent 3 days at Lancaster General Hospital and when I wasn't sleeping, I was in excruciating pain.  They had to triple the dosage of pain medicine that they give me thru an IV just to get me comfortable.  Unfortunately, some of my nurses were a bit slow at understanding and administering my medication making the situation worse.  One of the doctors in the ER said I should consider meeting with pain management doctors, because I may have this pain for YEARS!  This took the winds out of my sails and then some...I fell off the wagon in despair.

Ready for the blessings?

My main doctor in the hospital was on the ball and gave Dr. Singh (the Johns Hopkins doctor) his personal cell number.  They talked and have a game plan.  If nothing is uncovered from the recent rounds of tests, then the next step is to send a mini camera down and into my organs.  Dr. Singh is not giving up.  Hooray!

My next door neighbor, Dawn, is a super, phenomenal physical therapist with certifications that few have in the entire US AND has connections with other super trained physical therapists who specialize in abdominal organs and such.  She has offered to drive me to and from the appointment.  She had made arrangements for last week, but with being in the hospital it was not feasible.  However, a huge dose of hope.

Yesterday, once again on our way down to Johns Hopkins the Lord kept us safe.  A car flipped in the rainy conditions and we passed it just as the ambulances and fire trucks were arriving...thus, just a few minutes earlier and we could have been in a collision.  Of course, our prayers go out to the driver and any passengers.  I wasn't sure if the bad weather, seeing the overturned vehicle, and/or lack of pain meds, food and water were making me feel ill, but I wasn't feeling well on the ride down.

For the HIDA scan prep Lauren, my nurse, put some solution thru my IV to make my ducts secrete any bile in them (this is to help be able to see the ducts more clearly with the machines).  The injection took 10 minutes and when the timer went off, I thought I was going to black out.  Lauren, quickly called two men to move me to a stretcher, raise my feet, put ice on my neck and a wet compress on my forehead.  The pain was so unbearable that my body felt like it was shutting down and according to Lauren the lack of color in my face confirmed what I was feeling.  In an effort to keep me conscious the doctor asked me what I did for a living.  He then exclaimed, "Lauren, I told you not to show Rebecca your credit score...look what happens!" :0)  The humor definitely helps!  The test lasted an hour and I was in horrible pain and wasn't allowed to move causing both of my arms to fall asleep.  However, I am hoping because I was in pain, the machine will show the culprit.

Praise the Lord, I could eat and take pain medication before my next test.  I have had MRI's in the past, but this one was not pleasant.  I guess I should have known when they put ear plugs and large head phones (like the ones the airplane flaggers wear) that I was in for a treat.  It sounded like a car alarm was going off and a concrete chiseler was at work.  I had only a few inches above me in the claustrophobic tunnel and had to hold my breath for 20-50 seconds at a time for 2 HOURS!  I had to keep telling myself there was plenty of air and I wasn't going to suffocate.  The IV contrast also made me feel like I went to the bathroom in my pants.  Needless, to say I was celebrating when it was time to be taken out of the MRI.

Celebrate we did.  We went to Trader Joe's and picked up healthy comfort food and had dinner at the Cheese Cake Factory.  I love their peach smoothie drink.  It is made with fruit and ice, but tastes creamy like a milkshake.  The ride home was non-eventful.

This morning at 5:30 AM I woke up in horrible pain.  It felt like all of my bones were crushed and I had been beaten.  I took my strongest pain killer (they quadrupled the dose I can take at home since my last ER visit) and after several pain-filled minutes I was groggy and feeling much better.  I slept most of the day until 4 this afternoon.  Thus, I apologize for the delay in my update. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers, encouragement and wisdom!  As previously mentioned, my spirits sunk from all of the pain and lack of answers.  However, I received so many emails packed with love and wisdom that my heart has rebounded.  One dear friend who is a published writer suggested that I create a blog.  She mentioned that I could potentially bring comfort to others who have chronic pain without a diagnosis.  At first I thought, "Blogs are for people who are good writers, are experts at something and/or are narcissistic.  Since I do not fall into the first two categories (I was a math major afterall), I do not want to focus on myself and write a blog."  My husband listened to my logic and replied, "You are an expert at pain and you always want to make a difference and help others."  How could I argue with that?  I started to become giddy thinking about how not only I could comfort people, but all of you with your unique and amazing words could comment and bring support to readers.  My loving husband set up the blog.  It is www.MourningIntoDancing.net  Check it out.  If you sign up to be a "companion dancer" (aka follower) you will get an email every time I write a post.  If you feel comfortable, please write a comment and not only shower me with love, but others who are suffering.  Setting up the blog also reminded me of how blessed I have been through this entire journey and I saw the themes of humor, divine timing, and growing stronger in my faith interwoven throughout updates.

Final nuggets of wisdom.  A dear friend from college blessed me with the insight that Jesus knows all about suffering.  For some reason, my brain had not made that connection...Jesus knows what I am going through.  I have known that my identity is in the Lord as a child of God, but now I am able to identify with His suffering.  This wisdom brings a tremendous amount of comfort.

A friend of my mom's emailed me a quote from Martin Luther King: “ Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the staircase.”  Thank you all for helping me to have faith even when I cannot see what is ahead.

I read another chapter in One Thousand Gifts and it was all about naming.  Adam named all of the creatures and it is important to specifically name what we are thankful for.  I continue to fill the pages of my gratitude journal and it really helps my outlook.  The chapter also made me desire to have a name for this pain.  Thus, my prayer request is to find a name for this pain source. 

As always, I am delighted and honored to pray specifically for you.  Being in the hospital for four days (Mon at Hopkins and Tue-Thurs at LGH) last week I have not gotten to respond to many emails.  However, please know that I do appreciate them.

Congratulations!  You made it through this very long entry.  I will send out an update after my next appointment with Dr. Singh on Jan 24th.  Don't forget to check out the blog.  Would love your feedback!

Blessings,

Becky

1/10/12 BLESSING, MIRACLE & MINI UPDATE

Hi amazing friends and family,

I have a blessing, miracle and mini update...

BLESSING: I started the new year with a new book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  I felt my spirit slipping and this book has gotten me back on track.  I have trouble concentrating, so I am only up to page 43, but it is phenomenal.  It has inspired me to get back to my gratitude journal (writing down things I am grateful for every day from Costco coupons to short lines at the pharmacy to a morning without pain). In this book the author talks about various examples of miracles/healing that were performed after Jesus or some one gave thanks. i.e. a Leper returning to thank Jesus after healing and then receiving full healing, giving thanks before Lazarus was raised from the dead, giving thanks for the loaves of bread and fish before they miraculously multiplied, praising God even at the Last Supper when Jesus knew he was going to die so that we could receive salvation.  This author also talks about the Greek roots of the word Eucharist - grace, thankfulness, and joy.  She believes gratitude is the key to joy.  I can't eliminate pain with joy, but having eyes of gratitude certainly helps makes the days more enjoyable.

MIRACLE: Last Friday, I had to go for blood work.  The nurse that took my 9 viles of blood remembered me from the fall and asked if I was any closer to answers.  I told her that it may be my sphincter of Oddi.  The nurse said she has been in horrible pain for the past 4 months and she was having surgery on her sphincter of Oddi this Wed.  She will be the first person to have the surgery done in Lancaster.  She had been on disability for the past few months and had many trips to the ER because of the horrific pain.  She was only back at work last week, so she wouldn't loose her job and was only working 4 hour days. (If I had been a week earlier or later, or even a few hours later I would not have been paired with her...truly divine timing!)  Her description of her experience sounded very similar to mine and encouraged me that I wasn't going in sane.

MINI UPDATE: Yesterday, I went to Johns Hopkins for my 6th endoscopy.  Thank you for your prayers... a car swerved into our lane on our way down and praise the Lord Jack's fast reflexes prevented an accident.  I also did not have bad pain prior to the procedure, which I had been concerned about.  I had a nice, young, male nurse who got me prepared.  I was a bit embarrassed about having a male nurse put heart monitors on my chest.  I quickly was distracted when the patient across from me started ripping off his gown and tearing out his IV.  Next, the man next to me needed a bedpan and had a BM two feet away from me with just a little curtain separating us.  All those who know me well, know I have a hyper sensitive nose, so praise the Lord I did not vomit.  The humor of my nurse helped pass the hour and a half I had to wait before it was my turn to be put under. Dr. Singh said my pancreas looks fine with the exception of it having fatty stuff in it.  Not sure what this means, especially because I have been on a low fat diet for years.  Good news, my pancreas does not need to be removed.  Discouraging news, still no clear solution.

My prayer requests: 1) my future children - their caregivers, family, community 2) Jack - he has been an amazing caretaker and currently has bronchitis 3) healing and relief from pain.  As always, I would be honored to lift up your specific prayer requests. 

My next procedures are Tuesday, Jan 17th, but I don't expect to have much of an update until Jan 24th when I have my followup with Dr. Singh.  Thank you for your faithfulness and encouragement. 

Peace,

Becky

12/29/11 FINDING STRENGTH & REFUGE

Hi dearest friends and family,

This is  the hardest email I have had to write thus far.  I have been clinging to the words of the psalmist saying "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble." (Psalm 59:16)

Praise God for the strength He gave me through the Christmas season that abounded with blessings.  I had some really wonderful days in December with going to Central Market when a flash mob sang the Hallelujah Chorus, having Christmas carolers come to our home, receiving many Christmas cards with updates from friends, and seeing the children's Christmas pageant come together.  As icing on the cake, my sister got engaged yesterday.  Lots to celebrate!

This past Tuesday, I went to Johns Hopkins and did not receive the news I had longed to hear (a solution).  Dr. Singh doesn't believe my pancreas is the culprit of the pain, but like all of the doctors does not know what is.  I have three tests scheduled over the next three weeks at Hopkins and then have a follow up appointment with Dr. Singh on January 24th.  Four weeks may not seem like a long time, but to me it seems like an eternity.

My pain has gotten worse and now multiple times a day I feel like knives are stabbing me all over my abdomen.  When the sharp pain ends, I am left feeling like I have bruises everywhere.  I experience all of this pain while on strong narcotics.  For the three tests, I cannot eat, drink or take any pain medication after midnight.  The one test is scheduled for 4PM on January 9th and the other two are in the afternoon on January 17th.  I could use prayers every day, but especially on the 9th and 17th.  I am learning what it means to find refuge in the Lord.

Below are some lyrics from my new favorite song, “Stronger” by Mandisa. They have brought me comfort and I pray they may inspire you as well.  I pray that you each have a blessed, happy & healthy 2012!  I will keep you updated in the new year.

Hey, heard you were up all night

thinking about how your world ain't right
and you wonder if things will ever get better
and you're asking why's it always raining on you
when all you want is just a little good news
instead of standing there stuck out in the weather
don't hang your head
it's going to end
God's right there
even if it's hard to see him I promise you that he still cares

Chorus: When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is going to make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't going to last forever
Things can only get better
Believe me this is going to make you stronger, stronger

Try & do the best you can
hold on & let him hold your hand
Go on & fall into the arms of Jesus
Lift your head
It's going to end
God's right there
even when you just can't feel him I promise you that he still cares

Please, pray that I would grow stronger from this trial.

Blessings,

Becky

11/30/11 IT IS DARKEST BEFORE THE DAWN

Hi faithful friends,

A friend at church hit the nail on the head when she reminded me that it is darkest before the dawn.  Since my last update it has gotten darker, but some morning rays are beginning to break through.

I returned from Temple with a head cold and the next day got an infection requiring antibiotics.  This delayed the start of my antibiotics for the bad bacteria.  I spent Thanksgiving Day in the ER with another attack of horrific pain.  I was able to begin the antibiotics to kill the bad bacteria this past Friday and it has caused intense nausea and diarrhea.  Now, I am battling with the disability insurance who keeps calling with 101 questions and has not approved my claim yet.  Argh. 

Ready for the rays of blessings?!  A little over a week ago, with the infection and head cold (thankfully both are gone now), Jack and I bought a few raffle tickets for a youth fundraiser.  There was one basket in particular that caught my eye labeled serenity and it was filled with peaceful CDs, a soft blanket, a journal, some books, and a beautiful wind chime and more.  Guess what?  We won this basket and an original piece of art.  In addition, I didn't realize until after we won that the serenity basket that it was put together by the Thursday morning women's Bible study group...these ladies are beautiful on the inside and out and have been blanketing me in prayer...how extra special! 

In addition, my family doctor last week brought a lot of wisdom and hope.  It is clear that I have pancreatitis and the enzymes should help.  Only 9 more days of these horrible antibiotics before I get to begin the enzymes.  My  doctor has extended my disability until January 1st.  He also prescribed a prescription to combat the nausea and it works great.  I had an appointment yesterday with an endocrinologist at Hershey and go to John Hopkins on December 27th...less than 4 weeks.  This is an absolute miracle.  The doctor I am seeing on the 27th, Dr. Singh, helped a dear friend of mine with pancreatitis feel better than she has felt in years.  Needless to say, this brings a lot of hope and light to the darkness.

Another huge blessing was advent night.  The fleece we bought for the blankets were originally 8.99/yrd and we got them for 2.99/yr plus 25% off that.  We were able to make 28 fleece blankets for the homeless and families in need for under $150...to put this in perspective it would normally cost $840 to make 28 blankets.   The drama that Jack wrote came together even with an ill actress.  Many beautiful cards were made for homebound members...it was just an amazing night of fellowship and service.  I was so thankful to be present (especially because the next day I was super ill) and so proud of Jack for all of his hard work amidst my health issues. 

There have been many other blessings, including cards and emails arriving just when I need a boost to my weighted spirit.  I continue to nap in the morning and afternoon and some days, I only get out of bed to eat and use the bathroom.  Thus, I hate to send a generic thank you, but at this time I do not have the strength to respond to individual emails.  I also want to say, yes, I am always open to prayer requests.  Praying and sleeping is what I do a lot of these days :0)  Thank you for prayers for Jack's eyes.  They are slowly healing and the pain is under control.

Blessings to each of you during this holiday season.

Love and peace,

Becky

11/19/11 KEEP THE PRAYERS COMING

Hello dearest friends,

Thank you for your faithfulness in prayers and well wishes.  I had an absolutely, amazing vacation in NC and SC.  The weather was in the 70s and sunny everyday.  I was blessed to spend time with relatives on my dad's side that I hadn't seen in a long time, spend quality time with friends that now live in GA, and get lots of rest.  I worked on my Vitamin D consumption while sitting by the ocean and the pool.  It was the most restful vacation for Jack and I, so I thank you for your prayers!

I continue to have good and bad parts of the day and it still surprises me how I can quickly go from feeling great and peppy to exhausted and be in excruciating pain.  It makes me very thankful to have time off of work to really rest and not have added stress.  My boss and HR continue to be very understanding and compassionate...a huge blessing!

Yesterday, was the big, anticipated day...I couldn't sleep Thursday night, because I was nervous what was next.  We ended up waiting 3 hours at the doctor's office due to arriving early and Dr. Parkman running behind.  He only spent a few minutes with me and said that I have bad bacteria growing in me, so he prescribed 2 types of antibiotics to take for 2 weeks and then to try enzymes for my pancreas.  Dr. Parkman wants to see me back in 3-4 months.  However, when I went to scheduling his first available appointment is not until May!  I felt like a big football player had just knocked the wind out of me...that's the action plan?! 

However, this is not the end.  Because of the doctor running extremely late and being brief, we pulled into the Trader Joe's parking lot in Wayne just as our mentors from Lancaster, Don & Rila, were leaving.  Talk about divine timing!  We pulled into parking spaces and they gave us each much needed hugs and words of empathy.  This event reminded me, that while things did not go as I had planned, God was still in control and His timing is perfect.  Thus, on that note I ask that you continue to pray as I try to release control and planning the future.  Lastly, I have an appointment with my new, wonderful family doctor this Wednesday.  My prayers are that he would be able to better explain my test results and have some more concrete ideas and action plans.  Blessings to all of you, as you celebrate Thanksgiving next week.  I am certainly thankful for each and everyone of you!

Peace,

Becky

11/3/11 UPDATE – ROUGH WEEK – NEXT 10 DAYS NEEDLE & DOCTOR FREE!

Hi dearest friends,

I wanted to continue to express my gratitude for your words of encouragement from emails to texts to cards to music and even apples.  I have felt blanketed in love and they have really helped me get through this past week.

A little chronological update with blessings interwoven...

Tuesday, Oct. 25 - allergic reaction to new pain medicine causing added pain, rather than eliminating it.

Thursday, Oct 27 - met with a new family doctor (my former one, whom I was very fond of, moved out of the area this past summer) to get a prescription refill of my old pain medicine that worked...I was nervous to meet a new doctor who didn't know me and ask for a refill on a strong pain medication.  God blessed me with a very thorough doctor who had gone over my past tests stretching back several years and had a list of questions prepared.  He picked up on a few "quirks" in previous tests that he would like to follow up on and gave me a refill without any trouble.  He reassured me that I wasn't an addict and once things were resolved, I would not have trouble gradually stepping off of the medicine.

Saturday, Oct 29 - Jack and I were able to keep a tradition alive of carving pumpkins with Julia and Gordon (wonderful kiddos from our church) despite 6 inches of snow.

Monday, Oct 31 - Two tests at Temple Hospital.  First one a breeze, with blowing into a bag every 15 minutes for 3 hours to determine if bad bacteria is growing in my intestines.  The second test can best be described as torture.  A tube had to be inserted in my nose, down my throat and into my stomach.  This wouldn't be a big deal if I could have been asleep, but I not only had to be awake, I was not allowed to take any pain medicine 12 hours prior.  I almost passed out from the pain and drenched my clothes in sweat and tears.  I also pulled muscles in my back from dry heaving so much.  The huge blessing was the technician was super encouraging saying "You are doing great...just a few more swallows...you are very brave." while Jack held my hand.  I never felt so much pain in my life and believe it is only by the grace of God that I could complete the test.  Ready for the blessings?  The hotel we stayed at once again in Philly had incredibly friendly staff and provides a complimentary dinner Monday-Thursday.  Guess what was for dinner?  Chicken Marsala...one of my favorite meals.  We also found a great place with fat-free frozen yogurt, packed with flavor and felt wonderful on my sore throat.

Tuesday, Nov 1 - Woke up still feeling weak and ready to go home.  I had one last test where radioactive stuff is injected via an IV and x-rays are taken.  Once again no pain medicine allowed.  I was blessed with a funny and witty technician.  He asked, "What brought you to Temple from Lancaster?"  I replied, "My doctors were out of ideas and highly recommended Temple."  The technician replied, "People tell lies all the time." :0)  His sense of humor helped me get through another round of pain.  While I was "glowing", as Jack likes to put it, Jack fixed a TV in a waiting room and was rewarded with a free parking pass for the hospital (an $8 value).  More blessings came that afternoon in the form of a stop at Trader Joe's (an amazing grocery store) where an employee got me one of my favorite treats from the back as long as I promised to hide it in my shopping cart (it is a seasonal item that came in the night before and is not on the shelves yet this holiday.) 

Now the huge blessing, I realized that I was too sick to return to work.  I called my family doctor, the one I had just met for the first time a week ago, and asked if he would be willing to write a letter for me to go on short-term medical leave.  He wrote the letter and had it ready for me to pickup when we arrived back in Lancaster.  HR and my boss at work were both very understanding.

Wednesday, Nov 2 - Had a rough night and woke up with a bad headache, pain in my stomach, up my back, down my legs and in my feet.  I was loosing my pep and positive attitude.  For the first time, I started to feel discouraged.  Fortunately, thanks to many prayers, along with a nap and pain medicine, the pain was bearable by the afternoon.

Thursday, Nov 3 - woke up refreshed from a good night's rest.  Had a final injection and blood work in Lancaster.  I had two naps today and am packed and ready to go on vacation.

I now will be doctor and needle free for at least ten days.  My follow up with my doctor at Temple is set for Friday, November 18th.

One final thought - I have heard that God only gives you want you can handle.  I believe God only gives you what your support group can handle.  I certainly couldn't have gotten this far without the love and support of so many people, including friends of friends.

Peace and love,

Becky

10/24/11 UPDATE – CONSULT AT TEMPLE HOSPITAL

Hello again dearest friends,

Thank you for the love and encouragement that you have showered me with.  I have been blessed to hear from so many of your through a variety of ways including emails & cards to fabulous & heartfelt CD mixes to  cookies for Jack & artificial leaves with words of encouragement.  I love the unique way each of you have each touched my life and continue to.  I am certainly not enjoying being in pain and having mush for a brain, but just love, love, love reconnecting and hearing what is new with so many of you.  I hop on my computer before heading to work (when I get out of bed on time) and never have enough time to respond as I would like to my flooded in box.  I figure in do time, I will be in touch in a more individual way.  Please know how much your encouraging words mean to me, even if I am not able to respond.

I will try to give you a brief update, but as you all know brief is not my strong suit.  Last week was rocky with the unexpected trip to the ER regarding a scratched cornea of Jack's that flared up.  Huge blessing: that Beth had spent the night and could drive us to the ER at 1:30 AM (as I couldn't drive due to medication and Jack couldn't see to drive).  Jack has been to the eye doctors twice last week and returns tomorrow for another appointment.  Praise the Lord he has gotten some relief after several sleepless nights.  I had requested prayers for my caregivers, but certainly did not anticipated them requiring healing of their own:0)

The big day came today.  We were blessed with a restful night sleep in a beautiful suite in Philadelphia, compliments of my generous parents.  We enjoyed a leisurely drive down yesterday afternoon, a fun excursion in Manayunk Sunday evening and I even enjoyed being at a used book store <gasp>...Jack has contaminated me:0)

The hospital was patient friendly with clear signs and helpful and kind staff.  Dr. Parkman was nice, even tried to make a few jokes, very intelligent and compassionate.  The game plan: I had 3 test done today and go back to Temple next Monday and Tuesday for 3 more additional tests.  Thankfully, Nov. 4th we will be able to get away for a week in SC (Jack and I have not had a week vacation in 14 months), so the timing couldn't be better.  Than after some R&R, I return to see Dr. Parkman on Friday, Nov 18th to decide a care route.  The two procedures on the table right now are a pacemaker for my stomach and an incision to my gallbladder duct.  Of course, nothing can be determined until these diagnostic tests are completed.

I promise to send an update after my appointment on the 18th.  Before I sign off for the evening I must share the highlight of my day.

For an x-ray today, I had to change into a gown and wait in a waiting room just for women (thus Jack couldn't come with me).  After changing into my oh so attractive gown, I entered a waiting room where a group of ladies sat in the same gorgeous gowns chatting.  I thought maybe they were all friends, but quickly realized that they did not know each other prior to today.  The only empty seat was right in the middle of these gabby ladies.  Guess what they were talking about?  How good God was!  They invited me into their conversation.  I must mention I was the only Caucasian person in this room and also the only one under the age of 60.  Instead of feeling like I was in a cold, depressing waiting room.  I felt more like I was at the spa with girlfriends...isn't God awesome?!  This is extra amazing  because quite a few of the ladies had been fasting for their tests and this was in the afternoon...instead of being cranky or grumpy they were rejoicing in all the ways God is working....a little slice of heaven.

Well, I just had to share a glimpse of the blessings that have been showered on me recently and convey my sincerest thanks.  I continue to pray for each of you and welcome any new or ongoing prayer request.

Blessings,

Becky


P.S.  Please excuse my grammar and spelling it is past my bedtime (7 PM)

10/14/11 UPDATE & PRAYER REQUEST

Hello dearest friends,

I have some blessings to share and some prayer requests.

A few weeks ago I started having severe stabbing pain in my stomach that shot up my spine.  I went to the doctors and they gave me some additional pain medicine to take assuming that it was my gastroparesis flaring up.  (My stomach doesn’t empty on its own, so I take motility medicine, as well as, pain medicine everyday.)

I continued to have these episodes with the pain becoming worse and worse and the additional pain medicine not touching the pain.  I thought I was going to pass out from the pain, so I asked my mom to pick me up from work and take me back to the doctors.

The doctors sent me to the ER and then I was admitted into the hospital for 5 days of diagnostic testing.  It was determined that I need to go to Temple (a teaching hospital in Philadelphia).

Ready for the blessings?

The hospital staff in Lancaster could not have been nicer.  The food service workers to the nurses to the doctors were all super nice, kind, friendly, compassionate and competent.  The IV drugs in the hospital kept me very comfortable as I had one diagnostic test after the next.

One day my devotional that my loving husband read to me in the hospital was about how resting is a form of worship.  This was good news to hear, because I was only awake for a few hours a day, as the medicine to keep my comfortable also made me very sleepy.  Thus, I was getting my worshiping on in the hospital!

I was also blessed that Jack or my mom spent each night with me and every day by my side in the hospital.  I never felt alone or scared.

When I returned to work, I was happily surprised to discover that all the projects I had left half done, were completed by my co-workers.  My supervisor was more than understanding and allows me to take an hour and half lunch break, so I can take an hour nap each day at my parents’ house.  My family has also been wonderful at chauffeuring me to and from work, as I cannot drive while on Percocet. 

Yesterday, Jack received the call that I have an appointment at Temple on Monday, October 24th.  This is a miracle, because they are booked through December, but through a liaison here in Lancaster working with a liaison at Temple (and A LOT of prayer), they were able to get me in sooner.

Here are my prayer requests: first thanksgiving for all of the ways that the Lord has provided.  Second, for strength and trust as I persevere at work until I can be seen at Temple.  Third for my caregivers, especially Jack and my mom, who are helping me in a million ways.  Fourth, for wisdom for my doctors at Temple and complete healing.

For those of you who are technologically savvy, I have an odd request.  In the hospital and at home, I listen to a lot of music.  It takes energy to have my eyes open, so music is a great distraction when I am in pain or wrestles.  I would love to have a mix of your favorite inspirational/peppy songs.  I love all music from pop to rap to classical.  This way I can be distracted and thinking about you as I listen to your tunes.

Lastly, I would like to ask how I can pray for you.  I do not have a lot of energy, so phone calls are hard.  However, praying is a true delight and something I now do pretty much constantly.  When you have a chance, feel free to zing me an email with how I can pray for you.

Love and peace,

Becky

P.S. On the adoption process…our paperwork has been translated and is in Ethiopia.  The next step is a referral!  The estimated time is 2 years.  Please continue to pray for our forever children!