Dearest friends and family,
Today marks 2 years pancreas-free. I have an unconscious habit
of setting time limits on when scars should be healed. I also have a habit of
underestimating that time.
If I am truly honest, the scars of memories from the past
few years still haunt me. I still feel sick to my stomach with flashbacks of
IVs, hospital rooms and uncontrollable pain. A year ago, I thought I was “cured”
and was interviewing for a 9-5 job and was getting back on the saddle of
preparing to adopt.
Today, I am aware that my body requires daily naps and tires
easily. A 9-5 job is not an option. This may sound bizarre, but I have had to
grieve this loss.
Jack and I also grieved the loss of the twins we had hoped
to adopt in Uganda. One passed away in June and the other in July. My heart
continues to ache for dreams and hopes I had for these precious babies.
Ready for the blessings?
I became an aunt on July 7th. Thanks in part to
not having a 9-5 job, I was able to visit my niece 5 times in the past 6
months. I cannot help but smile every time I think of her.
Through my Arbonne business, I have had the opportunity to
share amazing products with amazing people. My path has been crossed with old
and new friends.
As this new year begins, I am making “trust” my word for
2015. “Hope” has been my word for the past two years. This year I am trusting
that in God’s divine timing I will become a mama, I will have opportunities to
serve and be used, and our needs will be met. I have a tendency to overanalyze
and worry. While I may not be able to fully extinguish these old habits, I am
going to battle them with trust. I have gotten back to keeping a gratitude
journal. It is amazing how many blessings abound if I merely look for them.
I was also struck by the memory this morning of how many
people came along side me and my family during my illness. I am grateful for
each one of you for supporting and encouraging me. While I may not be an
Olympic athlete, I am much stronger now than I use to be. As scripture reminds
me, I know that all things work together for good for those who love God and
are called according to his purpose. I am praying that your 2015 is filled with
joy and gratitude. As always, I am honored to pray for the needs of others. If
there is anything specific you would like me to pray for, please let me know.
Peace,
Becky
